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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512621">We Will Try Again When The Sun Rises</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/natura_non_facit_saltus/pseuds/natura_non_facit_saltus'>natura_non_facit_saltus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, In this house we solve our fights with healthy communication, Kissing, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena likes biting Kara, Light Angst, soft hours, supercorp endgame bitches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:22:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/natura_non_facit_saltus/pseuds/natura_non_facit_saltus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Being Kara Danvers wasn't as easy and pure as everyone always made it out to be.<br/>Kara was far from perfect. She was too proud, too stubborn, too self righteous.<br/>And sometimes she lost control, saying things she didn't actually mean.<br/>The Girl of Steel never bend, but the sight of a hurt Lena Luthor was enough to break her.</p><p>or,<br/>Kara and Lena have a fight, Kara apologizes and they have a heartfelt conversation about Supergirl's future.<br/>Soft hours, I promise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>204</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Will Try Again When The Sun Rises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know why I wrote this but consider this my happy new year gift to you haha. :D<br/>I hope you enjoy it! And don't forget 2021 means supercorp endgame.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Kara, I need you back here in an hour. I <em>mean</em> it."</p><p>The person in question was already taking off, mind elsewhere when her red headed sister scowled at her. Both knew it was a pointless attempt. Kara would most certainly not come back in time, maybe not <em>at all</em> but Alex wouldn't be Alex if she didn't lecture Kara despite knowing her complaints would fall on deaf ears.</p><p>She could still feel a sharp pain in her left side whenever she breathed in and fair enough, under other circumstances she would have considered to stay at the DEO but nothing mattered in that moment more than reaching her destination. Everything faded into the background as she flew through the night sky and honestly? Kara was praying Alex would keep her promise and take care of potential alien threats without calling her, because the Kryptonian genuinely didn't know if she could bring herself to turn back right now. She had been anxiously waiting all day long to finally go see<em> her. </em><span>To see</span><em> Lena.</em></p><p>The morning had started off like most ones nowadays: with Lena's soft body curled up in her arms, bodies pressed closely against each other and sleeping like Kara never knew could be so addicting. She used to be an early person, well, she <em>still</em> was because Supergirl had duties after all, but the blonde had observed how it had gotten harder and harder to get up in the mornings. Ever since...</p><p>Since Kara grew the balls to finally ask the youngest Luthor to be her girlfriend. They had grown almost inseparable ever since then, to the point where it became a regular discussion point at game nights because their friends barely got the chance to see them anymore. Kara didn't pay much attention to their complaints though, this was the most fulfilling relationship the blonde had ever experienced and it didn't pass a day in which she didn't thank Rao for blessing her with this life. The past year felt like a dream come true.</p><p>So how could she possibly get up in the mornings when the love of her life was sleeping so peacefully in her arms? Things were going perfect, <em>too</em> perfect. They both knew it was a matter of time until something would happen because...life always had a tendency to disrupt them when they became too content.</p><p>This morning Kara didn't leave her girlfriend's penthouse with a glowing smile on her face like she usually did but with a deep frown and a clenched jaw that almost broke from the force.</p><p>Just the memory of what happened made Kara almost ram herself against one of the skyscrapers she was flying by. The conversation they had still echoed in her mind and found home in her consciousness, reminding her of how she let anger get the best of her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You're not seriously considering to go, right? This is a trap, Kara."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And this is exactly why I should go. I won't get a better opportunity than this to catch him. You are worrying too much, babe, I am ok-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-No, don't babe me right now. This is serious. You said it yourself, Valeronian strength is dangerous even to Kryptonians. You are not going alone, Kara. It's final."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Baby, please calm down. It's really not that big of a deal, you know I am careful."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Really? When? You dislocated your shoulder last week because you got distracted in the middle of a fight by a balloon in the sky! I have every right to be worried. You will barge in there head first with no plan whatsoever in mind. So listen to me for once."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You don't get to decide what I can and can't do, Lena. I am Supergirl. People are counting on me to bring him to justice. He is loose, he can injure someone as we speak. If I don't stop him now, it might be too late already. So listen to me right now. I am going and there is nothing you can do about it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Kara...i sokao (please)."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You heard very well what I said."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Lena. No. Don't do that. Now is not the time for games."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not playing! I am worried about you! We all are and only want what's best for you, but you're once again too stubborn to see that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh that's rich coming from you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stop it. Don't even go there right now. J'onn and I are coming with you. The new suit will be ready in less than an hour."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I said no! I don't want to wait any longer and I don't want you to come with me! Get off my back for once! I am not a child and I definitely won't let a Luthor treat me like one."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was all her fault of course. Lena was right about everything and Kara paid the price for being too reckless. She got hurt <em>badly</em>, broke a rip and received a nasty black eye all because she didn't want to wait. The only consolation was the knowledge that the alien was in a holding cell right now and her bruises had mostly healed by now. Only a fading yellowish bruise was decorating her face now and the cold night air helped at numbing the throbbing sensation.</p><p>They hadn't talked all day. Kara attempted to right after the Valeronian was successfully captured but Lena didn't pick up the phone. There was no response after the blonde arrived at the DEO either. Being strictly ordered to rest and let Alex examine her, there was no way to leave sooner. The blonde was forced to spend the rest of the day on a cold, hard bed and get taken care of...like she was a fragile little thing who couldn't take a blow to her body. So it was safe to say she was on the edge all day long, waiting for an opportunity to get away and find Lena. Her whole body was one restless mess, her sister had to put her hand on her bouncing leg more than once. Or more like <em>fifty</em> times. Yes, Kara did count each time, there was nothing else to do and her mind was going crazy with waiting waiting waiting.</p><p>To make it even worse, Alex had given her a<em> curfew</em>. Apparently the Kryptonian needed to stay the night at the DEO for reasons she still didn't understand but couldn't be bothered to figure out either. Kara felt mostly <em>fine</em>, why should she wait any longer? Nothing was more important than finding Lena and making sure <em>she</em> was okay. Her heartbeat was steady, that much Kara knew already since taking off. It was a soothing melody in her ears, which she chased to hear most of the time like it was a drug she was depended on. Sometimes the slightest change in Lena's heart rhythm would be enough for Kara to bold out of her seat at CatCo and fly to her girlfriend. With hair completely tousled from the wind and clothes looking like she had just ran a marathon in them, it was safe to say she attracted attention anywhere she ended up at. Sometimes that would be a soul cycle class, in the middle of a fencing match, a boardroom meeting or Lena's shower...</p><p>The latter was of course the most pleasant scenario. And Kara being Kara would gladly assist the youngest Luthor at whatever it was that caused her <em>excitement</em>.</p><p>Regardless of the circumstance though, Lena would always tell her with an amused smile,<em>"You are worrying too much, darling."</em> </p><p>Oh how <em>familiar</em> that sounded now...</p><p>-</p><p>It was when Kara landed softly on the balcony ground that she noticed a knot forming in her throat. It felt heavy, <em>so</em> heavy and no amount of swallowing could wash it away. A taunting ball filled with anxiety that always manifested itself when the blonde was so fucking scared of losing someone...</p><p>It was easier being in the air, away from everything earthly and where nothing and no one could touch her. She was safe there but on solid ground? Kara felt helpless to her sins and burdens, her throat was constricting. The urge to cough was strong but she didn't want to startle Lena. Even Kryptonian coughs were destructive, just like everything else about her.</p><p>The raven haired beauty was in the open kitchen as Kara stood outside. She wasn't in her working clothes much to her surprise. Her hair was down as well, which only meant Lena actually left L-Corp at a reasonable time tonight. Kara was glad to see that, her girlfriend still couldn't bring herself to break her unhealthy working habits but it was alarming at the same time. Did something happen for her to come home early? The blonde couldn't lie, hope swelled up in her chest as the idea occurred to her that maybe Lena was waiting for<em> her</em> to come home. </p><p>She was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a green sweater, the one Kara bought her last Christmas and she looked so <em>soft</em>, so beautiful like this. Unassuming. Kara often found herself just staring at her from afar. Yeah, it was a bit creepy but she couldn't help herself. Even after years of knowing each other, Lena still took her breath away. <em>Literally</em>. Kara had to inhale deeply when she snapped out of it.</p><p>With sweaty hands she approached the glass door and knocked three times. Not too loudly, nor too softly. It was the perfect pressure, their perfect secret melody that only belonged to <em>them</em>. Lena knew it was Kara right away. She raised her head suspiciously calm and stood there for a good second, not moving, just looking. The tea bag was still in her hand as she held it mid air. The other hand held a black mug.  There was no indication for what she was feeling in that moment, only her heartbeat betrayed her. It had spiked up slightly.</p><p>As if she could read Kara's mind and knew what the Kryptonian could<em> hear</em> and <em>see</em>, Lena broke the eye contact and looked at the tea bag in her hand. Ever so slowly she disposed it and made her way to the door. Each step was met with the Kryptonian's own heart increasing its pounding. When the barrier between them was broken, neither attempted to move. A cold shiver gazed Kara, it was like the Pulitzer Gala all over again. Her own heartbeat was racing and she didn't even realize when her hands had started playing with the fabric of her cape that closely pressed against her back. Green eyes widened in their close proximity, which meant Lena finally saw the state Kara was in. The impossibly small gasp didn't go unnoticed by the superhero, nor the rise of the human heartbeat as Lena's eyes roamed Kara's face, searching for more injuries. A pale hand twitched in its place and the blonde was disappointed to see Lena never reached out to touch her. Instead their eyes met again, this time green ones growing much softer than before. With the moonlight illuminating her face, her features had a different glow to them. The pale skin shone with purity, Lena looked somehow younger, less drained from the tragedies life had given her. </p><p>She was otherworldly stunning and for a second Kara forgot why they were in this predicament in the first place.</p><p>"Oh<em>, Kara</em>..."</p><p>Her voice was hauntingly<em> small</em>. Like she was bleeding, <em>crying</em> from the inside out and the ability to speak failed her. Dark eyebrows were knit in pain and it broke Kara's heart into pieces to see her girlfriend like this. Lena absolutely hated seeing Kara in pain and to know that all of this could have been prevented if the blonde had just stayed, just<em> listened</em>, makes this so much more unbearable.</p><p>It was all her own fault. She should have listened to her advice...</p><p>Kara was ready to step forward and take Lena's hands into her own to explain to her how everything was okay but seeing her so broken before her, the blonde felt disgusted with her own self. She didn't want to hurt the shorter woman even more. Standing motionless didn't seem to be a good idea either because Lena swallowed thickly and stepped aside for her to come in. Nothing else was shared. Lena barely even looked at her anymore, completely avoiding to stare at the reminder of what had happened to her girlfriend.</p><p>The Kryptonian carefully followed her into the kitchen, making sure to keep a respectful distance between them. She had grown exceptionally good at reading the signs as to what Lena needed when she was upset, like when she needed the blonde close, when she needed a hug despite being angry at her...but she also knew when physical proximity was <em>absolutely</em> out of the question. Right now Lena had put a steel wall around herself and was not willing to be vulnerable or listen to Kara. Her shoulders were <em>tense</em> on their walk to the kitchen. Any other time she would have abandoned anything and ran to her alien girlfriend, forgetting whatever it was that they fought about to make sure she was okay. Kara had grown so used to <em>that</em>, she almost expected it to happen tonight as well. She never realized just how spoiled she was before. They never held bitterness or hard feelings against each other all this time.</p><p>It was so foreign to see Lena simply resume back to her tea and take a sip. It was clear that the youngest Luthor wasn't ready to forgive her despite visibly being shaken and the guilt just overtook Kara then. She would keep distance but <em>not</em> keep her mouth shut any longer. This had to be fixed. Even if she was kicked out of the penthouse after this, the very least she <em>must</em> do was apologize. Staying glued on the opposite site of the kitchen island, she took a deep breath and it all shot out like a bullet then, "Lena, I...I deserve your silence and anger. I know what I have done and I am <em>so</em> sorry for my behavior this morning. There was no reason for me to lash out on you and then put myself in unnecessary danger. It was all my fault. I just...I always get so bull headed when people are in danger, I feel so responsible for their safety that I lose sight of reality. It's not an excuse of course, I was irresponsible and wrong.<em> Rao</em>, I am truly sorry for how I treated you."</p><p>Kara was breathless by the time she was done. Her chest was heaving and pulling her <em>down. </em>Everything felt so heavy, and if her left side was partly to blame for that, she didn't notice. The only thing her mind and soul noticed was <em>Lena</em> and how she still stared into her tea like she was searching for the answers of the world. There was a faint frown on her face, not enough for it to be disapproving but Kara could feel how the youngest Luthor was thinking thinking thinking.</p><p>She was about to raise the mug to her lips but haltered, leaving it on the counter instead. The Kryptonian's rapid breathing must have been audible to Lena's human ears, because she finally decided to raise her head and look at her.</p><p>Rao. <em>Finally.</em></p><p>Kara couldn't stand the silence. She preferred<em> anything</em> but that deafening silence.</p><p>"Okay," Lena said flatly. Or that was at least what she wanted the blonde to believe. The shaking in her voice <em>almost</em>, only almost slipped Kara's sensitive ears but she heard it. This situation was far from okay and both knew it. Kara had raised her voice at her girlfriend that morning, something she promised herself she would never do again after that fateful night at Lena's lab. <em>Years</em> ago.</p><p>
  <em>"You never even understood that I kept my identity from you because I wanted to protect you!"  </em>
</p><p>She had regretted it as soon as the words came out of her mouth, but the pain, the fucking pain and anger she felt back then had been too strong and she didn't care any longer. She needed to let it out, to make Lena finally understand just how much she had hurt her. Up until that point the Kryptonian kept swallowing all her emotions but the truth was Kara's heart had been violently torn apart by the woman she loved the most. It was used, toyed around with for<em> months</em> and <em>months</em> while Lena made her believe everything was okay between them.</p><p>"Apology accepted," came shortly after.</p><p>Under the glaring kitchen light, it was evident how tired Lena was. Her eyes looked heavy, the distress wrinkles on her forehead were visible and it felt more like she was simply too exhausted to explain how she was feeling, rather than being actually ready to forgive the Kryptonian.</p><p>Kara shook her head at the thought and her hands gripped the marble counter rather desperately. The slight crack on the surface went unnoticed by her. Many things went <em>unnoticed</em> that day....</p><p>"<em>No</em>, Lena I...I <em>hate</em> it when I get like this."</p><p>Her body moved on its own accord then, rounding the island to stop right next to Lena who turned to face her with a suddenly sober expression. Her mask came undone. "It's not okay, you shouldn't be so easy on me. I have no right to treat you this way-" </p><p>A pale hand settled on her own as it rested flatly on the counter. It was a careful touch, her hand simply laid on top of Kara's but it was enough to calm the superhero down in a way she hadn't been able to do all day long. It was also a <em>very</em> effective way to stop Kara from talking. Whatever it was that she intended on saying got swallowed down and completely forgotten the second Lena looked into her eye like <em>that</em>.</p><p>"Darling, it <em>is</em> okay." It was a stark contrast. Her voice had changed completely now. It was a soft, honey like melody in Kara's ears. A veil had been lifted from Lena's beautiful face, her features were no longer tense. Only tenderness remained. Her eyes fell on where their hands held each other and the blonde couldn't help but do the same.</p><p>There they laid. Tan and pale. Broad and small. Warm and cold. Alien and human. Kara and Lena. <em>Together.</em></p><p>Lena added light pressure, it was an encouraging squeeze to remind both of them that they indeed were together in this.</p><p>"It pains me when you take all the blame of the world on your shoulders. I wasn't considerate either and you know that. I kept putting more pressure on you with my own worries and I was too demanding. I have no right to give you an ultimatum. I understand why you reacted that way." The shorter woman sighed and averted her eyes to the ground. Kara knew there was more she wanted to say, so she allowed her thumb to stroke on the alabaster skin on top of her hand, trying to give Lena the same comfort she gave her just a second ago. The now very much <em>green</em> eyes were glassy when they found Kara's again, Lena's bottom lip was slightly trembling and<em> fuck, </em>the Kryptonian almost burst out crying then. </p><p>"Just...<em>please</em> don't raise your voice. That's all I am asking from you. We can work through anything else."</p><p>This.</p><p><em>This</em> was what didn't let Kara rest all day long. What made her so angry at herself. Lena trusted her and she went and hurt her like this. Kara knew how much Lena suffered in her life and how raising voices triggered more than just unpleasant memories. Kara closed the last bit of distance between them and took Lena's hand in both of hers. Their forehead's pressed against each other in a silent agreement. </p><p>"Lena...I-<em>of course</em>. I am sorry, baby. I am <em>so</em> sorry. Forgive me," the last part came out in a sob, tears were freely spilling out of Kara's eyes now and there was nothing she could do to stop them.</p><p>She didn't even realize when exactly she was pulled into a tight embrace but she welcomed it with the same intensity. Her arms came to wrap themselves around Lena's back and she buried her leaking face into a soft shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent that emitted off from the shorter woman. Her hands were running up and down Kara's spine as she whispered soothing words into her ear. It did the trick. Kara had no idea how many minutes had passed but her breathing did fall to a normal pattern again. </p><p>The superhero didn't allow herself relax for too long though. No. This wasn't about <em>her,</em> she had no right to be consoled right now. She was the one who hurt Lena.</p><p>She slowly pulled away from Lena's embrace and reached out for her hands once more, kissing their knuckles.</p><p>"Hurting you is the<em> last</em> thing I want. I am not the best when it comes to dealing with my anger, and even more so when it comes to Supergirl, to saving people. I just...I <em>can't</em> sit out. I can't wait. The idea of someone losing their loved one like I lost my family...I can't let it happen. It's like my whole being catches fire in that moment and I can't focus on anything else, I can't rest. <em>But</em>...but I was so wrong in the way I handled this. I need to control myself better, I <em>have</em> to and there is no way around it. I promise I will fix this, I won't stop until I have absolutely learned how to do so."</p><p>The air had left her lungs so quickly already and she had to take a moment to take a breath. It was so overwhelming sharing these truths about herself. Every single time. Kara knew she was too stubborn, too proud, too self righteous. Blame it on her Kryptonian genes, but she knew there was more than that. It was something she was to blame for as well. Coming to earth and refusing to adapt to some extent, then becoming National City's superhero everyone respected and listened to...Kara Zoe-El had always been a huge part of her personality and she never wanted to let go of that origin, that link to her culture. </p><p>Pride and power was a dangerous thing though. Even with good intent, it was easy slip into the wrong path and Kara sometimes did overestimate her own self and status. </p><p>Lena knew all of that of course. They talked about this a million times and she never pressured Kara to tell her more than she was ready to share. Even <em>now</em>, the youngest Luthor was patiently waiting for Kara to continue. Those eyes were so kindly feeling with her, the hand above Kara's was still holding her, keeping her <em>grounded.</em> The blonde swallowed, but the lump never left her throat. She only managed to continue in a choked, nervous whisper, "Kelly and I...I am starting therapy next Monday. I want to get better. For me. For <em>you</em>."</p><p>For the first time that day she was Lena's lips tug into a smile. It was small but still shone through the mound of pain she was experiencing. It was enough to completely distract the blonde  from the fact that her side was starting to hurt again.<em> A lot</em>. Crying profusely probably wasn't the best idea while still healing...</p><p>"Come here," Lena mumbled in that shy, yet commanding way of hers that could make even the strongest being in the whole universe weak in the knees. The taller woman didn't waste a single second and wrapped herself securely around Lena's waist, as her girlfriend snaked her own around Kara and rested her head against the solid chest. It all always felt so organic, so natural. Their bodies knew how to find each other and their hugs felt sacred to Kara, like mystical experiences that filled her with a sense of vitality not even a red sun could give her. Lena sighed in content, sharing the same feeling.</p><p>It felt good. <em>So</em> <em>so</em> good.</p><p>They stayed like this for awhile, just appreciating each other's warmth.</p><p>"I am so scared for you, Kara."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Kara tightened her hold on the youngest Luthor and kissed her forehead. It never got easier when her friends and family said those words but with Lena...it was even harder. How could she console people and the love of her life when she knew very well all their worries were justified? Lena further buried her face in Kara's chest and inhaled deeply before exhaling ever so slowly, almost like she was trying to savor the Kryptonian's scent for as long as possible.</p><p>She didn't look up before she spoke, but turned her head until only the right side of her face was still laying on Kara, "My heart is aching when I wake up and don't see you next to me. When I have to watch you getting hurt and thrown around on a fucking TV. When Alex calls me and tells me they need my help because...," her voice was audibly cracking now, "because you are not waking up." </p><p>She aprubtly raised her head then and stared deeply into Kara's eyes, the glassy veil around her green orbs was back and this time threatened to spill over. A cold hand reached out and touched Kara's face delicately, almost as if it was afraid of breaking her. Kara knew where this was going but couldn't help but lean into the touch. The fingers grazed her jaw, then went to her cheek and ended up just under her eye all the while Lena's eyes followed the trail.</p><p>She tilted her head the way she always did when the words felt too heavy in her mouth and she had to take a moment to breathe. "...and then I come and find you on that bed, seeing your beautiful face, drained out of life, bloody...motionless-"</p><p>Kara cupped her face in her hands and kissed her. It was the only right thing to do in that moment.</p><p>She wouldn't allow Lena to torture her mind with these thoughts any longer.</p><p>It was a deep, almost<em> rough</em> kiss that had a purpose no words could possibly explain. Lena's lips melted almost immediately against Kara's and parted to let more of her in. Hands clutched with force at the golden material of the hero's belt and Kara knew her girlfriend's lips would <em>definitely</em> bruise from the impact of which their lips were colliding. But Lena didn't seem to mind at all, she accepted everything the blonde was giving her, taking it all in in in. Something very primal was building in the blonde's belly. It wasn't sexual but still <em>strong</em>. It spread through her body and ended at her lips, which then claimed as much as possible of Lena's mouth. </p><p>Tears touched Kara's hands as she held Lena there, not letting her go anywhere but stay <em>there and</em> letting their hot, wet mouths show what everything else failed to do. The Kryptonian barely allowed space between their lips as she pulled away, she needed Lena as close as possible.</p><p>"I am right here, Lena. With <em>you</em>. I always will be. Nothing and no one can take me away from you," she breathed into her.</p><p>When sapphire eyes opened again, Lena looked perfectly <em>wrecked </em>with her <em>very</em> swollen lips and half closed lids. She timidly nodded while broad hands wiped tears away from her face. She was the one who leaned in this time, simply pressing her lips against Kara's in a chaste kiss but the blonde welcomed its warmth more than eagerly.</p><p>"Take me to bed please?"</p><p>"Anything for you."</p><p>Without wasting time the Kryptonian kissed the top of Lena's head and gently took her hands in her own, guiding them from the golden belt around Kara's neck. Lena knew what would happen next, so she kept her arms firmly anchored around Kara until she was scooped up bridal style.</p><p>-</p><p>They didn't exchange words. They weren't needed. Kara let her girlfriend step out of her embrace and onto the ground, strong arms never leaving Lena' side in the process. She helped her get out of her clothes. Each layer was carefully removed and Kryptonian lips couldn't help but sneak kisses to exposed alabaster skin whenever they could.</p><p>When the last item was disposed, she grabbed Lena' favorite (oversized) sleeping shirt and put it on for her. Throughout the whole procedure Lena stayed quiet and followed Kara's lead. Kara did quick work of her own superhero suit, completely ignoring the hissing pain in her side and slipped on a shirt and loose shorts. She never used superspeed to do that in front of Lena. It was simple things like these which added a familiar domesticity into their lives. Lena loved seeing Kara getting dressed and undressed, just like she loved seeing her taking her time with writing articles at home or driving with Lena instead of flying.</p><p>When she was finally dressed and ready, Lena gazed with a warm, <em>pure</em> glint into Kara's eyes and Kara knew what to do next. She took her hand and lead them to the king sized bed, where she laid down first and pulled Lena along until the youngest Luthor was securely laying on top of her. It was one of her favorite positions and one the blonde knew she needed the most when she was vulnerable like this. In her own words: it made her feel safe being able to look into Kara's eyes and feel her heartbeat beneath her while Kryptonian arms wrapped around her back.</p><p>Lena immediately buried her face into Kara's neck and inhaled deeply. The feeling of her girlfriend breathing her in never failed to soothe even the last tense muscle in Kara's body. It was such an intimate thing to do and she always wanted more of it. More of <em>Lena</em> against her. Her left arm slipped beneath the oversized shirt and caress the exposed flesh on Lena's back, not being able to resist the warm feeling of her skin on Kara's fingers. The right hand found its way to Lena's black mane and brushed through it.</p><p>There were a million things on her mind but knowing that the woman in her arms was content was enough to drain everything else out. Kara wanted to change. She had to. It wasn't often they fought, rarely actually but it was times like today that made her wish she was...<em>normal,</em> a healthy<em> human</em>. Not a species from a different planet with severe trauma, and not a superhero. Her anger issues had always been a problem in her life since she came to earth but she learned to control it over the years to the point where she was almost sure they had been resolved. But once she became Supergirl it became obvious that they were still there, and they grew worse over time. Everyone always knew Kara as happy and optimistic but only a few very people truly knew what was going on inside of her. How much resentment she <em>still</em> felt for her family, her planet, her <em>own</em> self. How angry she was for not being able to fit in. To be a good sister, friend, lover. Suppressing all of this this over the years because she didn't want to be a bigger bother than she already was had bad consequences. The sudden outbursts of rage resulted more than once into lethal laser beams shooting at a wall. </p><p>And Lena...her beautiful, caring Lena was right by her side every time. No one had the patience, tenderness and understanding that she had when it came to Kara's issues. She always was there for the blonde, guiding her through her panic attacks, through the sudden outbursts, the anger. The pain.</p><p>Kara had to change. And she would. Lena deserved to be happy and she swore she would do anything in her power to be everything she needed and more. The superhero's friends said on several occasions she was being too hard on herself but she didn't believe them. They loved Lena, truly they did, but they always put Kara first. It had always been this way and <em>Rao,</em> how many times did Kara put them in their place when they became too partial, especially <em>Alex</em>. Only Kelly took the time to fully understand where Kara came from. <em>"I will gladly help you, Kara. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out for support and guidance. You should have come sooner, you know my doors are always open for you."</em></p><p>Lena's heartbeat had slowed down by now, she wasn't asleep but she had entered a peaceful state and it wouldn't take long for her to drift off. It was an indescribable feeling to know how safe Lena always felt in her arms. The gentle puffs of air that hit Kara's neck were a constant sign of how this was <em>real</em>, that this incredible being <em>loved</em> Kara and wanted to be with her. Nothing was more fulfilling than this</p><p>"i zhao (My love)," the blonde sighed against Lena's temple, then titled her head to give her cheek a kiss. Several small pecks were placed on an exposed shoulder then and much to Kara's satisfaction goosebumps spread out on her lover's body.</p><p>"I love you so much," Kara continued to murmur into her shoulder. Lena's body practically<em> melted</em> in her arms, impossibly sinking further into Kara and placing a lingering kiss on the Kryptonian's neck. Under different circumstances the body on top of her would have been flipped over and pinned on the bed, but both were content like <em>this.</em> There was no need for something else right now. Kara loved seeing Lena so relaxed. So<em> peaceful.</em></p><p>"Don't you have to go back?"</p><p>"You are far more important," she dodged the question. Yeah, Alex would be <em>furious</em> tomorrow but it shouldn't come to a surprise to her that Kara ignored health advice in favor of her girlfriend. Kara was fine. It dawned on her then that her left side felt perfectly alright as they laid like this. There was no sign of pain or throbbing. <em>Nice.</em></p><p>And yet it seemed to be the wrong answer because Lena sighed against her and raised her head with a frown. Soft, <em>inviting</em> lips were tugged slightly downwards. "Kara. If they need you-"</p><p>The blonde simply brought her free hand up and cupped Lena's face with an earnest smile, "Shhh. Trust me, they'll be fine. I promise."</p><p>It wasn't that she lied, they both knew Kara didn't lie anymore, about <em>anything,</em> but it would be naive to think that she wasn't a little bit or perhaps <em>very</em> sloppy in her judgement. So she absolutely understood why the woman on top of her took a good look at her face and searched blue eyes the way she always did when she was worried. She knew perfectly well how the Kryptonian tended to underestimate situations. </p><p>"I love you." It was a breathless whisper, something that came from deep within, something so earnest but also pained. Lena was <em>still</em> hurting, it <em>still</em> was hard for her to come to terms with the fact that the person she loved was a superhero who was in constant danger. She struggled, she was scared and Kara never admitted this out loud, but she had considered multiple times to hang up the cape because of this. She didn't want Lena to live in fear for the rest of her life. When it came between Lena and the world, Kara would always choose Lena. She had done it since day one and certainly wouldn't stop now. But she also knew Lena would never forgive her own self if Kara was to make such a decision. She kept her tongue tied and didn't dare to shift the conversation to that territory. </p><p>Instead she settled for what she knew she could always tell Lena with 100% certainty, "I love you too, baby."</p><p>However the silent question creeped itself into her consciousness either way. Should Supergirl retire?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"She wants you to be happy, Kara. And being Supergirl makes you happy."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But Lena makes me happy too. More than anything, Alex. I need her to be okay, I can't live in peace knowing that she can't even sleep at night because of me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What about me? Or J'onn, Nia, Brainy and Kelly? We all overcame that constant worry despite how difficult it was at first. It doesn't necessarily get easier but we learnt to live with it, you know? We accepted that you are who you are and you are wonderful, brave, and so inspiring. The world needs you, Kara. And we fully support that you dedicate yourself to saving people with the gifts this earth has given you."<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Let me finish please. I know. I know you need Lena and you love her like you've never loved anything else. But you can't hide for the rest of your life because of the fear that something might happen to you. You need to carry on living as Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. She wants that too and you know that. Lena just...she needs time. It's still all so new to her, you know? When she learnt about you being Supergirl, she was devastated, remember? It took time and this right now isn't any different. You two are so similar in that aspect. You don't react well to change. You need time to get used to it, to adapt."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's not her fault..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know it isn't. Nor is it yours. But you have each other, you have us and we are here for both of you. As long as you have that anything is possible."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Remember when you didn't want me to become Supergirl? And how scared you were?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course I do and I still am worried about you, Kara. But you can't keep people inside a cage. They are meant to fly. And you, my little sister, you were always meant to shoot through the sky and do whatever it is that you are doing when you wear that cape."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts drifted less and less to the idea of retiring after the conversation they shared a few months ago. Sometimes she caught herself thinking about it like at this very moment, but it wasn't frequent anymore. It was just there...a thought that would creep into her head and then slowly dissolve again. But should it? Should she not think about it? Dwell on it? She <em>loved</em> being Supergirl, she really did. It was her calling that gave her purpose in life. Even after everything that happened over the last years, she never regretted making that decision to become a superhero. Nothing could ever make her regret helping, saving and inspiring people. But how would she ever know when enough was enough? When it was time to move on? Didn't all things come to an end? </p><p>Lena's lips against her jaw snapped her out of these questions. "You're thinking too loudly, my love."</p><p>She was lightly nibbling on the skin, it was feather light almost. Kara had learned to differentiate between Lena's touches over time, although all of it felt very <em>soft</em> against her body of steel. Right now, Lena was merely biting her. It was just for the sake of it. She was very fond of the action itself, she did it often. Sometimes absently, sometimes purposefully. It didn't always hold sexual urges. Lena told her once she just liked the feeling of the Kryptonian on her lips. To be connected.</p><p>Kara's arms tightened around her lower back in response, her palm still caressing the now very warm skin there. "Am not," she pouted but Lena had none of it. She smiled against her and dragged her nose against the defined jaw until her soft,<em> so</em> soft lips lightly tugged at Kara's bottom lip. Kara opened her mouth to give the youngest Luthor easier access and she happily dove into the invitation, biting into the flesh and then slowly releasing with a satisfying <em>smack </em>sound. Maybe the Kryptonian should pin her against the mattress after all? Lena seemed very much <em>awake</em> now.</p><p>She leaned in and placed a single, wet kiss on Kara's lips. The playfulness in the air shifted as quickly as it came though by the time the blonde opened her eyes again. Maybe it was the fact that there still was a bruise on her face, maybe there were just things that couldn't disappear from ones mind no matter how much they tried to ignore them. Lena's body slightly stiffened just as they gazed into each other's eyes. Even in the darkness of the night Kara could tell green orbs were wide and full of worry. "Don't ever quit because of me. Please, Kara. Not because of me."</p><p>It still did things to her, just how soft spoken Lena Luthor was. People always believed Lena was this cold, controlled being that didn't let emotions come to the surface but the truth was she was the purest person Kara knew. She felt <em>deeply</em>, and she was so fragile, in a <em>good</em> way though. She needed love, but wanted to love in return as well.</p><p>Kara swallowed, her gaze heavy on Lena.</p><p><em>Always</em> on Lena.</p><p>She was so beautiful. Not just physically, although anyone with two eyes could see how she held define, godlike beauty in her whole body. Lena was all around beautiful. Especially in her soul. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Kara's heart was full of peace and all she wanted was to stay like this forever. To love, worship Lena like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes the youngest Luthor got frustrated when her alien girlfriend just stared stared stared at her for no reason at all. It was a lie of course, she <em>loved</em> the attention. She would blush profusely and "magically" end up in Kara's lap, fishing for compliments that the other woman gladly delivered. To both of their defense though, it was too easy getting carried away like this. They couldn't help but be <em>in love.</em></p><p>So it wasn't a surprise that the words struggled to come out of Kara's mouth as they longingly stared into each other's eyes. Her voice was raspy by the time she spoke, "I would do anything for you. If I hav-"</p><p>A finger on her lips silenced her, her whole body was under Lena's command. Green eyes were begging her at this point. "<em>Please</em> don't. You have to promise me, Kara. I couldn't live with myself if I took you away from what you love the most."</p><p>Decisions.</p><p>Decisions were <em>hard</em>.</p><p>Kara never was good at taking them. She always did what first came to her mind and what her intuition told her to do but it often bit her ass right afterwards. And when it came to taking decisions for her <em>own</em> life as <em>Kara</em>....she genuinely was helpless.</p><p>What about right now? Well, she was helpless to <em>Lena Luthor</em>. How could she not promise her? But how could she promise her if she knew she wasn't sure either?</p><p>Kara sighed against the finger that still pressed against her lips, green eyes never leaving her own. She brought her right hand forward and tugged black strands of hair behind Lena's face, not being able to resist seeing every inch of her face. She didn't know what to say, so she <em>didn't</em>. She wouldn't lie to Lena. No. <em>Never</em> again. Since revealing her identity...Kara swore to never lie again. It destroyed their relationship once, but it wouldn't again. The hand on her chest was still gripping her shirt like the woman on top of her was scared Kara would slip away. Crippling anxiety was practically radiating off of Lena. Her heartbeat had slightly picked up rhythm again, she clearly was distressed about the whole situation.</p><p>Kara wondered if <em>this</em> was also the reason why Lena couldn't sleep alone at night, if she was fearing the day the Kryptonian would retire because of her...</p><p>She pecked the finger against her lips and let her hand rest on a pale cheek, instantly feeling the welcoming sensation of Lena leaning into her touch.</p><p>"I can't promise something I am not sure I can keep but I will promise you that I will always be honest with what I want. I do want to be Supergirl, I want to help people but I also want to do everything in my power to make this work between us. I don't want you to live in fear, you don't deserve that kind of life."</p><p>Wide eyed, Lena drifted forward until her finger was separating them from each other. "You can have<em> both</em>, Kara. Both of these things are not exclusive to each other. You <em>won't</em> lose me." Kara wasn't sure whose heart was beating so fast at this point, their bodies were glued to each other, but something told her it was her own that was threatening to jump out of her chest. "I will never leave you," Lena repeated in a whisper and finally lifted the barrier between them. She was <em>so</em> close now, her breath faintly caressed Kara in a way that held her rooted there and suddenly all that she could focus on were those plump, rosy lips she could have on her own if she only leaned in just a little bit further.</p><p>Lena was under the same spell, as her now dilated eyes flickered down before meeting sapphire ones again. As much as Kara wanted this as badly as she wanted it, something else, something <em>stronger</em> tugged on her in that moment and overpowered her lust to be engulfed in and <em>by</em> Lena. </p><p>"I am scared."</p><p>The admittance eased the knot in her throat slightly, at least enough for her to continue in a small voice she didn't even recognize as her own, "I am <em>so</em> scared, Lena."</p><p>And the woman on top of her understood of course. She knew what Kara had been through in her life, how much trauma she had experienced. Loss became her companion since she left Krypton. It was like a parting gift embedded into her being. A constant reminder of how her life would never be the same again.</p><p>She lost so many people she loved....who could assure her that she wouldn't lose Lena as well?</p><p>She ran her hands up and down the Kryptonian's chest in a soothing rhythm and Rao...only this brilliant, beautiful being in her arms could ever calm her down with the faintest touch. Each stroke sent waves of warmth down her body that drowned out her anxiety.</p><p>"I know, darling. But you will never lose me. Not me. Not after everything we've been through."</p><p>And just like that, she leaned in and kissed her. It was a simple press of her warm lips against Kara's. But it was enough. Enough to drown out any thought, any fear that kept the blonde restless all day long. Even after a year of dating, each kiss still felt like the very first one. It was a feeling Kara couldn't describe but it felt like knowing...clarity. They were made for each other and no matter how much time passed, the excitement, the peace one gave the other would never fade away. Kryptonians didn't like magic but Kara swore their bond was magical. <em>Lena</em> was magical and she didn't mind at all.</p><p>This woman gave her clarity when she needed it the most. </p><p>Kara sighed against the sweet sensation of her girlfriend's lips brushing her own and deepened the kiss. Her hand left the comfort of Lena's cheek to find home at the back of her neck, bringing her closer closer closer. It earned her a wonderful reaction she had been dying to hear all day long. It was a small noise that escaped the youngest Luthor but got instantly swallowed by the urgency of which their lips so perfectly moved against each other. Lena's warm breath filled Kara and consumed her whole. She almost shuddered at how good it felt. There was something so incredibly intimate about sharing the same air, and allowing the other to fill your lungs with their breath. It made Kara's grip on Lena tighten, not roughly, but enough to let her know how much Kara needed <em>her</em> right now. It should have been concerning just how helpless Kara was to Lena's touch, how obsessed with feeling her but she didn't care. This is all she ever wanted. What she needed.</p><p>Lena eagerly matched Kara's firmness and kissed her back with just as much desire. Their lips kept dancing, gliding and pulling on each other but neither made any attempt to go further, to take the next step. They stayed like this, just enjoying each other, sharing the same air an getting lost in the touch. Even when Kara slowly broke the kiss, the sound of their lips pulling apart was soft. It wasn't loud, it wasn't harsh. It was gentle and wet. Kara's swollen lips were aching for more but she was overcome by such desire to look at her girlfriend and tell her how much she loved her. Lena's eyes were still half closed, the pink flush on her cheeks was visible in the moon light and it still made Kara's knees weak every time she saw her face after they kissed. She looked so...good. So happy. She was half smiling, as two fingers found their way to Kara's lips, gently tracing them as if to memorize how they felt against her own.</p><p>"I love you so much," Kara breathed out. And <em>Rao</em> how much she loved it when Lena's heart did this<em> thing</em> whenever she said those words. It was a literal flutter.</p><p>Being able to see and hear these things wasn't always as easy as it was now though. Kara feared her powers since coming to earth, not just for the <em>obvious</em> reasons but also because of the implications that they held for her own heart. Being able to tell how someone felt for her...it wasn't always a pleasant experience and with Lena, for the longest time she tried her best to not use her powers, to not be able to see how Lena responded to her presence. That's why she never noticed how nervous Lena used to be around her, how her heart hammered hard against her chest whenever they hugged or how arousal spread through her body whenever Kara joined her in the gym in nothing but tight shorts and muscle tees. But after they got together, it was different. She allowed herself to freely notice everything and she loved the way Lena responded to her, like when her heart skipped a beat.</p><p>Kara leaned forward to peck her lips while green eyes were still half closed. Lena murmured against her lips, "I will never get tired of hearing that."</p><p>"You better because I don't plan on ever stopping."</p><p>Lena smiled and let her forehead rest against Kara's. Her breathing was slowly changing patterns again, slower now and it was obvious she was getting sleepier by the second. Kara still felt the need to say what was on her mind, she didn't want her girlfriend to fall asleep without hearing the words one last time. "I am sorry for today. I really am. I hope you know I meant what I said. I need to work on myself."</p><p>The younger woman sighed against her and nodded, their noses brushing against each other in the process. "I know. But Kara, please don't be too hard on yourself. Don't blame yourself for everything. We <em>all</em> make mistakes, especially me....I-I want to change as well. I need to get over my fear. It's just...hard." Strong hand cradled her face at the confession, Lena's peaceful expression had progressively turned into a light frown as she had started speaking.</p><p>"Hey, it's okay. Your worries are valid and I understand why you feel this way. You've lost so much, baby. But I promise, we will go through this together, yeah? Step by step." </p><p>
  <em>Together.</em>
</p><p>The idea visibly calmed Lena the same way as it did Kara. The corners of her mouth lifted into a loving smile, "Yes, i zhor (my heart)." </p><p>After a few more lazy kisses here and there both were satisfied enough to go to sleep. The shorter woman buried herself into Kara's embrace and soon they drifted off into a much needed slumber. If there was one thing that this day proved, it was that Alex was right. They weren't alone. As long as they all stuck<em> together</em>, everything would fall into place. </p><p>Tomorrow would be a new day, and they would try again.</p>
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